How Lubricants Can Help With Painful Sex

Published: October 4, 2021

Listen up, ladies: this week on the blog we’re talking about lubrication, and it’s an important topic that many women overlook. In fact, you would be surprised how many women aren’t using lubrication when sex is painful. 

Lubrication is an important part of sexual arousal. It readies the vagina for penetration, making it easier for the penis (or other objects) to enter and reduces friction or irritation. Pain during sex is often caused inadequate lubrication (your vagina isn’t slippery enough!), and it’s often one of the first questions I ask my clients: “Are you using a lubricant?” 

Lubrication 101

Vaginal lubrication occurs naturally as women become aroused, but there are many reasons a woman may have difficulty creating enough lubrication for sex naturally. Lubrication also comes down to preference–some women like a whole lot more of the slippery stuff. 

Some women may feel embarrassed about the use of a lubricant (often referred to as lube for short), as though it insinuates that you’re not interested physically or emotionally with having sex with your partner, and that just isn’t so! The truth is that even if you are turned on and interested in having sex, lubrication can still make everything more enjoyable. It can be empowering to help ensure you’re having the best time possible. Yes, I said it:

Lubrication is empowering!

Here are a few more reasons to add a lubricant the next time you engage in any sort of sexual activity. 

Top 5 Reasons to Use a Lubricant 

Decrease painful friction: Even a little bit of lube can be enough to get you going and help decrease painful friction that gets in the way of feeling good. You’ll likely find that as you continue, you get more turned on, and your body handles the rest.

You Can’t Use Too Much: More is more is the rule of thumb when it comes to using a lubricant. (And if you’re worried about making a sticky mess, watch my video for a quick and easy fix!) While you might be concerned about using too much lubricant during sex, your goal here is to remove the possibility of friction that causes painful sex, and it all starts with a good lubricant.

Combat Vaginal Dryness: Vaginal dryness is a common side effect of menopause, but can affect women of all ages. Vaginal dryness and atrophy (thinning of the vaginal walls) can cause irritation and pain for many women as they continue to age. Using a lubricant can help ease the discomfort and allow for more enjoyable sex. 

Free up your mind: Take away worry about your vagina being too dry to have good sex by using a lubricant. With added lubrication, you can enjoy the pleasure of penetration and have the added bonus of having your mind at ease. Using a lubricant should help alleviate your partner’s nervousness about hurting you, too, which is always a good thing.

Make sex last longer: For those extra-special date nights, using a lubricant can make everything more enjoyable and last longer. Alleviating chances of hold-ups, friction and pain can help you and your partner focus on each other just a little bit longer. 

Now that you have some really good reasons to use a lubricant when you have sex, if you’re unsure about which products to purchase, I have some lubricant recommendations on my site. If you have more questions or find that you might need a little more help in the bedroom, I’d love to help you! My clinic is in the Metro Atlanta area, but through my email and video coaching, I can work with anyone just about anywhere, and I’d love to work with you and share my knowledge. Curious but not ready to work with me? I have a book for you that just may do the trick!

7 Essentials for

Pain-Free, Feel-Good Sex

Pain with sex? Decreased desire, Arousal, and orgasm?

Let's get started on the solution right now!

Wish you weren’t dreading sex or the pain that comes afterward?

Download my 7 Essentials for Pain-Free, Feel-Good Sex guide to help things go more smoothly. This is the advice that I give to my clients when they first contact me. These changes are the essential foundation for having pleasurable stress-free sex!

Hi, I'm

Dr. Lauren Crigler.

I specialize in pelvic floor therapy, and have spent over a decade helping women have sex without pain.

I’m here to help you stop having pain and start really enjoying your sex life.

My favorite part of what I do is helping women reconnect with their partner. This isn’t just a job for me; it’s a passion!

Are you ready to look forward to Friday nights? If you want to have sex without vaginal or pelvic pain, you can work with me via professional coaching.